*This is the first in a Two-Part Series on Trust - to read part one click here*
Often times, we worry about whether the person we are in a relationship with is trustworthy or not instead of turning the mirror to ourselves and asking am I trustworthy?
The only thing we can be responsible for ourselves. We cannot make another person be trustworthy. We can only work on our trustworthiness.
Again, since trust is such a huge deal in life and since so many of us have had trust broken in relationships, we are going to dive into practical ways to build, or even rebuild, trust in our relationships. These are the Trust Builders.
1 - The Honest Builder
The Word of God talks a lot about Jesus being The Truth, about Truth in general, and about living in Truth. It talks about sharing Truth in love. Scripture is full of encouragement to live a truth-based life. Honesty must contain All Truth. It builds trust when you are honest with other people.
2 - The Reliable Builder
All we really mean by the word reliable is this - when you say you're going to do something, you do it. It really is this simple. When you do not do what you have said you will, the other person in the relationship with you can become self-sufficient. Then the partnership disappears and the relationship begins to fail. It builds trust when other people know you to be reliable.
3 - The Undivided Builder
This word may seem odd, but the root of this word is to be filled with integrity - not divided in our attention and focus. Years ago, we came up with this idea of a 3-Legged-Stool of Integrity. The challenge here is that you can do 1 or 2 of these integrity filled actions, but the stool won't stand. You have to do all three for your stool to stand. The 3 legs of the stool are - do the right thing, in the right way, with the right heart. It builds trust when you are undivided in your relationship.
4 - The Safe Place Builder
We begin every Let's Get Real® Conference with a session on Safety - it is that important for successful relationships. Trustworthiness requires the relationship to be a safe place for both people. It builds trust when you create a safe place for yourself and the person you are in a relationship with.
5 - The Transparent Builder
In transparency there can be muddy water to wade through, but the more we are transparent with each other the more trustworthy we become. Transparency is almost like the Bow on the package. Transparency is the next step of honesty - it is being honest with your feelings, thoughts, and heart. If you share a deep place of hurt or a deep wound, and the other person handles it well, it builds massive amounts of trust between you two. It builds trust when you are a person of transparency.
The take away is to BE a trustworthy person instead of focussing on how you can't trust someone. If we could all just learn how to be trustworthy, The Lord will work on that area of trusting another person in His way and His time.
Maybe instead of trusting someone, we should just trust God with that person