REALtalk | Conversations from the Couch pt. 2

In April of 2022, Dale and Jena visited the 4GVN Ranch in rural Montana for a time of refreshing and refueling. It was during this time that they decided to sit down on the ranch house couch

and record three conversations covering a few need-to-know topics for real relationships.


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We are praying that these conversations from the couch are, above all else, real and that they make difference in your marriage and relationships.


Today, we want to take a look at a specific scripture that we believe has the opportunity to greatly impact your relationships.


Gracious words are a honeycomb,

sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Proverbs 16:24


For Jena, this verse has an extra level of *sweetness* (see what we did there?) because her "grandmother name" is Honey. When Jena reads this scripture, she is reminded that one of the worst things she could think of is saying something that is hurtful to her grandchildren.


In Jena's words,

"I want not only my name to be Honey, but my words to be honey.

Sweet to the soul and nourishing to the bones."


You see, the words we say and the way in which we say them are very important. Over the last 20-plus years of doing conferences, we have often stood on the stage and said "Everyone knows, it's not what you say...." and inevitably the crowd answers back "It's how you say it." And while this has made for some commonality, humor, and connection between us and the crowds at our events, we're not entirely sure that this statement is correct. The truth requires a little shift in the formation of that statement.


It DOES matter what we say, AND it matters how we say it.


You see, Our words have power. Our words mean something. Our words carry weight. Our words carry memories. It really matters what we say. When the scripture talks about a honeycomb, it uses this descriptor to remind us that our words should be sweet, they should bring healing, and they should bring nourishment.


Dale's grandfather raised honeybees. There were moments as a little boy that Dale remembers when he was able to help release the honey from the honeycomb. The mental picture of the valve being opened and the honey running out into a mason jar stays with Dale, but the next part of the process is equally as impactful. Dale's grandfather always cut a piece of the honeycomb off and offer it to whichever of his grandkids were around - often saying, "do you want to put a chaw in your mouth?" The honeycomb was incredibly sweet, tasted so good, and provided a form of nourishment for Dale, and his brothers or cousins who were helping.


Do our words do that for our spouse?


Do our words bring nourishment to one another?

Do our words bring sweetness to the soul?

Or do our words do something opposite?


You see, it actually does matter what we say just as it matters how we say it.


Now, for the sake of having a well-rounded view of this topic, the opposite of a gracious word would be a judgemental word. If someone does not show gracious tendencies, oftentimes they would show critical or judgmental tendencies.


If we take our verse and turn it around it might say something like -

Judgemental words are like horseradish, bitter in the soul and harsh on the bones.


It really all comes down to how we want other people to experience their interactions with us. Delivery is important, yes, but - just as much - what we are delivering really matters.


We have to be careful what we say.

We have to be careful how we say it.

We have to remember that it all matters.



Dale and Jena Forehand are the founders of Stained Glass Ministries a non-profit 501 C3 ministry. They offer conferences and resources to build real relationships.


To find out more about their amazing grace story of marriage, divorce, and re-marriage to one another visit their website www.daleandjena.com.

You can also find them on Facebook and Instagram at @daleandjena


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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

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1 - ARE MY WORDS MOSTLY HONEY OR HORSERADISH?

WOULD THOSE I AM IN RELATIONSHIP WITH AGREE?



2 - WHAT WOULD IT TAKE FOR MY WORDS TO GROW IN SWEETNESS AND NOURISHMENT?



3 - ARE THERE RELATIONSHIPS IN MY LIFE WHERE I HAVE USED JUDGEMENTAL, HARSH, AND BITTER WORDS? ARE THERE STEPS THAT I NEED TO TAKE TO HEAL OR RESTORE THAT RELATIONSHIP?



We would love to hear how this topic and these questions are impacting your life. Please comment below any thoughts, answers to our questions, or ask any follow-up questions to keep the conversation going.

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